Guy Fieri

Besides owning only one shirt, this guy is considered a master chef at cooking eggs, especially for celebrities. He sepnds most of his time eating instead of cooking because he doesn't give a SHIT. He also looks like the singer from smash mouth and earns his living pretending to be him since no one cares about celebrity chefs.

Intoxication with Yeti Dick
Guy fieri has an intense love for Yeti Dick, an extremely rare culinary treat. He uses it to create amazingly tasteful eggs by suckling the dick with his mouth and spitting into a golden skillet which he cooks his eggs over. It is very good.