Farquaad

Lord Farquaad is a smarmy lookin motherfucker who hates the ogrelord and all his oniony goodness. He is really short and wants fiona to suck his bean off. On his 21st birthday his dad made him smoke Swamp Gas which is probably why he stole shrek's swamp in the 1st movie because he wanted to sniff up all the magic swamp gas so he could get high.